From Lori:

How many of you know someone who it’s always someone else’s fault?

I worked with a girl who was placed on leave restriction because she took off work all the time, she took another job and was again placed on leave restriction, she then left the state and got a job elsewhere and had her probation period extended due to excessive leave. She always said her boss was out to get her, or so and so doesn’t like her or their policies are stupid however, the common denominator in all 3 instances was her. She continues to have leave issues instead of taking responsibility for what is required for her job, what is expected.

How much less stressful would her job be, her life be, how much better her attitude would be if her boss’s didn’t have to reprimand her if she would have taken responsibility and corrected the issue – by her own actions and her own attitude.

“My attitude is a result of your actions” - BLAME – we can control how we respond to people and negative situations. What we can NOT control is someone else’s actions, attitudes. However, you will feel better about yourself by being kind to someone who is unkind, instead of having regrets later for saying something at the spur of the moment.

Proverbs 28:13 “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.”

Matthew 7:3-5 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

Romans 2:1 Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things


  1. We cannot improve what we will not own.

  2. We cannot adjust what we keep ignoring.

  3. We cannot catch blessings, if we keep casting blame.

In order for us to experience evolution, we need to develop the skill of discerning the difference between a reason and an excuse. Just because the reason is real, doesn’t mean the excuse is right. The reason says something about the situation. The excuse says something about me.

Some helplessness is learned. A mental paradigm where a person sees themselves as powerless, therefore, their welfare and wellbeing is at the mercy of what happens to them. Their circumstances become sovereign, instead of their savior being sovereign.

To live well, you gotta live with boundaries. It’s not God restricting them, it’s God protecting them.

Human beings become their best, in the context of accountability. If you don’t inspect what you expect, what you expect will become suspect.

I would not link up long term with anybody that does not believe in accountability. God cannot teach anybody anything, who thinks they already know everything.

God is teaching us how to confront: when you ask a question, you already know the answer to, it helps you see how many problems you really have.

An orientation toward excuses since Adam & Eve.

We must perceive our part, and overcome our excuses.

Leprosy is a metaphor for our sin nature. You don’t pick your strengths and you don’t pick your weaknesses.

Our reasons to be here don’t have to become the excuses that cause me to stay in this condition. I won’t die here!

2 Kings 7:5-8 MSG

What story are you telling yourself when you hear the sound?

3 Lessons to learn from the lepers:

  1. At some point, they stopped the sulking.

    1. Sulking is human, and at times, it’s an appropriate responses, because it can be grieve. It’s okay to grieve.

    2. As long as I’m sulking, I’m not emotionally sober.

    3. The most under-appreciated life-skill: decision-making. Some of the most spiritual people, make some of the worst decisions. Whenever God doesn’t give me an answer, He wants me to use wisdom!

  2. They understood the power of partnership.

    1. God’s math is multiplication, not addition.

    2. When you partner, your results are multiplied.

    3. Do you have wise counsel in your circle? They can only mentor you and advise you, to the degree that you expose yourself.

  3. They took the initiative for improvement.

    1. Nobody came to get them where they were, they had to go to where help was.

    2. How long are you gonna wait for someone to come save you?

    3. What if God meets you on your way up?

    4. The grave wasn’t Jesus’ fault, but the resurrection was his responsibility!

It’s not my fault, but it is my responsibility.



Can you think of another place in the Bible where we are instructed to take responsibility for our actions?