Anger is an emotion. Bitterness is a choice.
Hebrews 12:15b
Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.
Ephesians 4:26-27
26 And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 for anger gives a foothold to the devil.
Foothold: “a secure position that can be used to advance, or a small area of control that can be expanded”
So how do we not let the sun go down on our anger? We deal with it quickly. Don’t allow it to fester. Don’t allow it to sink in. Deal with it quickly, either using Matthew 18 to hold people accountable, or get back on the same page with them, or FORGIVE THEM.
Matthew 18:21-35
21 Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”
22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!
23 “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. 24 In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. 25 He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.
26 “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ 27 Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.
28 “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.
29 “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. 30 But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.
31 “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. 32 Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ 34 Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.
35 “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”
Any amount of sin comes between you and God.
Unforgiveness will torture you.
Mark 11:25-26
25 But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.”
Matthew 6:14
14 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Luke 6:37
37 “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven.
Matthew 6:12 - the Lord’s prayer
and forgive us our sins,
as we have forgiven those who sin against us.
Radical forgiveness is impossible without Jesus.
An offended Christian is a Christian who has forgotten what they’ve been forgiven of!
Sometimes people will say, “I’ll forgive them when they apologize” ….. If Jesus would have waited until we said sorry to forgive us, he never would’ve gotten on that cross.
Hebrews 12:5b
How do I know if I’ve become bitter? Here are some things to think about:
Is your baseline mood often angry, disappointed, or irritable?
Think about the last 7 days…Have you…
Sent an angry or frustrated email or left a similar voicemail?
Got into a verbal conflict of any kind with anyone in your personal or professional life?
Had a negative emotional reaction to a stranger you encountered while driving, at work, or running errands?
Snapped at anyone in response to something they said or asked?
Think about your closest relationships. Do you generally feel that others don’t fully understand you or appreciate all the things you do?
Okay, now think about the concept of happiness…have you come to believe that it’s possible you may never feel truly happy?
When you hear about that person being blessed, do you wonder how God could possibly bless them when they did such an ugly thing to you?