SERMON NOTES
Your relationships are an essential area that most people underestimate.
It’s possible to live righteous and not live well.
Prov 13:20 We evolve into who we are around. Prov 27:17
There are no neutral relationships. “Don’t be misled, bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Corinthians 15:33.
We can be so bruised by betrayal, that we can adopt an attitude of “I don’t need what God created me to need.”
Non-judgemental feeling questions. Our emotions are messengers—”you need to pay attention to this.”
Relationships are purpose partners. Relationships are about the pursuit of purpose, not just company. Master the life skill of relationship management. NOT talking about the avoidance of pain. I’m talking about the pursuit of purpose.
Relational intelligence is the ability to define and align your relationship. The people that mean the most to you, will get the least out of you. 2 Samuel 19. Some people try to spend what they haven’t earned with you.
Just because you call ‘em something, don’t make ‘em that.
I’m defining, not to judge, I’m defining to align. So I know where to put you, so I know what to expect from you. So, if I know you’re a taker, I know not to treat you like a friend.
Jesus is the model of what it means to live with relational intelligence.
Everyone is to be loved biblically, valued equally, but treated differently.
treating everyone right does not mean you treat everyone the same.
When you have relational intelligence, you release yourself from the obligation to explain to everybody why they don’t meet the criteria to have access to a certain place in your life.
Inner circle people can handle you when you’re at your best, and when you’re at your worst.
Everybody gets love, everybody doesn’t get access.
Although everyone is equally valuable, everyone does not add equal value to you.
Some people are hard to replace, because they are the favor of God. Self-sacrificial love. Loyal, Supportive.
Without relational intelligence, the people who mean the most to you, will get the least from you. Living with intentionality.
What disrupted the favor of David’s life: relationships.
3 ways you can live your life: Church’s Way, Culture’s Way, King’s Way.
He saw signs, he didn’t judge, but he didn’t ignore. “I didn’t judge, but I remembered.” “I’m hurt, but not surprised.”
Not enough foot-washing in the world, to make Judas not Judas! When someone is a taker, giving ain’t in them.
When there’s relational intelligence, you’re managing imperfect people. Nonjudgemental awareness.
Jesus’ friends
Thomas - supportive skeptic
When you’re struggling with a dream, you don’t call someone who’s gonna help you struggle.
James & John - competitors
When people are needy, enough is never enough.
Good friends, they’re just draining.
Nathanael - the blunt buddy
truthful, but not tactful.
the friend that says anything in front of anyone.
Peter - the temperamental team member
BFF’s, ride or die, then “I don’t know him”
hard to live with, can’t live without him
Judas - the blind betrayer
he hurt you, but he feel like the victim
YOU should be mad, HE mad at you
The one that can see everybody else but them
ALL OF THEM ARE AT THE TABLE
Jesus had to manage all of them differently.
Knowing the tree by the fruit that it bears
Experience is the most effective teacher, but it is also the most expensive one, costing you time. The mistake costs you time, when you gotta clean it up.
God’s not just a need-meeter. He’s a need-assessor. Most people don’t know they need to improve relational intelligence. Because they think as long as their not in pain, they’re doing a good job.
Three things that need to happen:
open our eyes
he didn’t judge what he saw, but he didn’t ignore it.
open our heart
the holy spirit is our sixth sense.
open our ears
the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
the heart is deceptive. If you listen carefully, sometimes you can tell—if your ears are open.
you don’t judge their jealousy, you just love them enough to stop triggering it. Even though I love them with all of me, they can’t handle all of me yet.
It’s not just about HAVING good relationships, it’s about BEING ONE.
Sit and do some real thinking about the people in your life. Take some time to open your eyes, open your heart, and open your ears. Ask God what He is saying to you.