SERMON NOTES

We evolve into who we are around. Prov 27:17

There are no neutral relationships. “Don’t be misled, bad company corrupts good character.”

Our emotions are messengers—”you need to pay attention to this.”

Relationships are purpose partners. Master the life skill of relationship management. NOT talking about the avoidance of pain. I’m talking about the pursuit of purpose.

Relational intelligence is the ability to define and align your relationship.

  • Just because you call ‘em something, don’t make ‘em that.

    • I’m defining, not to judge, I’m defining to align. So I know where to put you, so I know what to expect from you. So, if I know you’re a taker, I know not to treat you like a friend.

    • Everyone is to be loved biblically, valued equally, but treated differently.

      • treating everyone right does not mean you treat everyone the same.

      • When you have relational intelligence, you release yourself from the obligation to explain to everybody why they don’t meet the criteria to have access to a certain place in your life.

      • Inner circle people can handle you when you’re at your best, and when you’re at your worst.

      • Everybody gets love, everybody doesn’t get access.

    • Although everyone is equally valuable, everyone does not add equal value to you.

      • Some people are hard to replace, because they are the favor of God. Self-sacrificial love. Loyal, Supportive.

      • Without relational intelligence, the people who mean the most to you, will get the least from you. Living with intentionality.

      • What disrupted the favor of David’s life: relationships.

      • 3 ways you can live your life: Church’s Way, Culture’s Way, King’s Way.

      • When someone is a taker, giving ain’t in them.

      • When there’s relational intelligence, you’re managing imperfect people.

    • Jesus’ friends

      • Thomas - supportive skeptic

        • When you’re struggling with a dream, you don’t call someone who’s gonna help you struggle.

      • James & John - competitors

        • When people are needy, enough is never enough.

        • Good friends, they’re just draining.

      • Nathanael - the blunt buddy

        • truthful, but not tactful.

        • the friend that says anything in front of anyone.

      • Peter - the temperamental team member

        • BFF’s, ride or die, then “I don’t know him”

        • hard to live with, can’t live without him

      • Judas - the blind betrayer

        • he hurt you, but he feel like the victim

        • YOU should be mad, HE mad at you

        • The one that can see everybody else but them

    • ALL OF THEM ARE AT THE TABLE

      • Jesus had to manage all of them differently.

      • Knowing the tree by the fruit that it bears

    • Experience is the most effective teacher, but it is also the most expensive one, costing you time. The mistake costs you time, when you gotta clean it up.

    • God’s not just a need-meeter. He’s a need-assessor.

  • Three things that need to happen:

    • open our eyes

      • he didn’t judge what he saw, but he didn’t ignore it.

      • you don’t judge their jealousy, you just love them enough to stop triggering it.

    • open our heart

      • the holy spirit is our sixth sense.

    • open our ears

DISCUSSION:

  1. What’s your biggest takeaway from this?

  2. How can you use this information in your life right now?

  3. “3 ways you can live your life: Church’s Way, Culture’s Way, King’s Way.” What do you think this means?

STUDY AT HOME:

  • Find some passages of Jesus interacting with his disciples in Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John. Which one speaks to you the most and why?

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