Forgiveness Isn't Always Enough
When people wound you, just like a physical wound if not tended to it can become infected, which leaves you bitter and hateful.
So how do we tend to ourselves when others wound us?
Well forgiveness obviously. Forgiveness is a healing agent to a wounded soul.
And this is where I started to realize, maybe forgiveness isn't always enough. I forgave those who wounded me but I was still hurting.
I was wounded by someone and this wound was deeper than forgiveness could heal.
So if forgiveness isn't enough then what is? What am I missing? What did God need me to do?
Psalms 35:11-14:
11 Malicious witnesses testify against me. They accuse me of crimes I know nothing about. 12 They repay me evil for good. I am sick with despair. 13 Yet when they were ill, I grieved for them. I denied myself by fasting for them, but my prayers returned unanswered. 14 I was sad, as though they were my friends or family, as if I were grieving for my own mother.
Matthew 5:44 sums this Psalm up beautifully:
44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!
Prayer Heals Wounds Forgiveness Cant
But in order for prayer to be effective in healing us we have to forgive first.
Read verse 14 in Psalms 35:
14 I was sad, as though they were my friends or family, as if I were grieving for my own mother.
You have to pray for them as if they were your friends, as if they’re your family. I would challenge you and say pray for them as if you're praying for yourself!
And the only way you're gonna be able to do that is if you've forgiven them first.
Prayer heals deep wounds. If you've worked through forgiveness, but you're still struggling to move on from something that was done to you, you need to spend time in prayer for the one that wounded you.
Pray for them as if you were praying for yourself! With genuine prayers. And God will begin to heal you.
Now will you be healed in that moment? In that first prayer? I can't guarantee that. But I can guarantee if you’re obedient to what God asks you to do, praying for your enemies. He will begin to stitch you up. He will heal you and replace the hurt with a love for that person you wouldnt of thought possible.
If only it were that easy though. Pray for your enemies. No, you see the 6th session of the Bait of Satan isn't called, healing from wounds, pray for your enemies or anything like that. It's called reconciliation.
Reconciliation means: the restoration of friendly relations.
The Restoration of Friendly Relations
Romans 12:18 NIV
18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Forgiveness isn't reconciliation. And neither is prayer.
Matthew 18:15
15 “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.
Verse 15 tells us GO! Go IN PERSON (when possible) to those who have wounded us and be reconciled.
When not possible a phone call isa better than nothing!
Pride keeps us from doing this at times.
We must humble ourselves and apologize!
You cannot reconcile a relationship without repentance. That's why we have to repent of our sins in order to be in right relationship with God even though forgiveness was settled at the cross.
Reconciliation isn’t going to happen if you go with a list of the things you’re sorry for while being defensive about what you’re not sorry for.
Humble yourself for the sake of peace!
2 Corinthians gives us a more complete understanding of the necessity of reconciliation in the life of a believer.
2 Corinthians 5:17-21
17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 18 And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. 19 For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. 20 So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!”
God the father gave Jesus Christ his son the task of reconciling the world to himself! A task that we as Christians, little Christ’s, Christ's Ambassadors continue to this day through the message of the Gospel.
God has given us the task of continuing Jesus’ ministry to reconcile people back to himself.
So how can we claim to be christians whose task is to reconcile the world back to God when we aren't even willing to reconcile the relationships in our own lives?
You can't!
It is the deepest hypocrisy to claim to be in Christ while simultaneously denying his work of reconciliation to those around us.
If you’re a christian and you are not living in peace with everyone, where possible, as much as it depends on you, you are living a lie.
If you have an enemy in your life and I ask you “what have you done to live in peace with that person” and your answer isn't “I've done everything I possibly can” then you are living a lie. You're a hypocrite. Claiming to represent something you don't..
Now I want to put an asterisk here. The verse says “If Possible” meaning it isn't always possible. We will have enemies, people who refuse to be reconciled despite all our efforts.
But I would argue that this isn't a majority of the time. And I find that we far more often spend time rationalizing to ourselves that they're unwilling to reconcile with us because we're too proud, or too afraid to have an uncomfortable conversation.
Do not rationalize your way out of doing what God has called you to do.
Live at peace and Reconcile with people. As much as it depends on YOU.
This Week’s Challenge!
Those who made a forgiveness list week 3 of this series: I know Candace had you destroy them as a way to show symbolically that you’ve forgiven them.
But what is the thesis of this message? Forgiveness isn't always enough!
So this week recreate that list. But now that's your prayer and reconciliation list.
Begin praying for those on your list throughout the week and AS MUCH AS IT DEPENDS ON YOU Reconcile with them. If possible IN PERSON.
Told you this was gonna be challenging.
And for the rest of you, make a list of your enemies. Those you aren't living in peace with. And do the same thing. That's your prayer and reconciliation list.